Jan Fowler

is author of the best-selling book, “Hot Chocolate for Seniors”(winner of national & international awards); winner of Gold Halo Award from the So. California Motion Picture Council for Outstanding Literary Achievement; winner of First Place Excellence in Journalism Award (SPJ –Southern CA); Town & Gown “Phenomenal Woman” Award; former television host & KSPA radio host of “Senior Living at its Best with Jan Fowler”; speaker, contributing author for “Savvy Women Revving Up for Success”; founder of Starburst Inspirations, Inc. 501(c) (3) nonprofit which supports Redlands Drug Court. www.janfowler.com. Jan welcomes feedback and comments about her columns and invites you to leave her a message on her website.

Be Your Own Special Valentine

By Jan Fowler

Think of it.  There’s no one else in the entire world exactly like us.  No one else happens to have the same combination of looks, traits, goals, dreams, and talents.  And yet we often find it easier to sing the praises of others than to accept and appreciate our own unique gifts and talents.

But it’s important to love and accept ourselves just the way we are, especially in case we’re hoping to attract a love mate. And if that happens to be the case we must first believe that we’re worthy and deserving of loving attention from someone because whenever we affirm ourselves in that way we exude confidence and have a better chance of manifesting our desires.

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to love someone who displays a cheerful, self-confident, upbeat, charismatic attitude? People who love and accept themselves just the way they are tend to have more friends and admirers.  They also seem to shine in the work place because they recognize and take pride in their talents and abilities.  Besides which, upbeat people tend to laugh more.

     People who love themselves come across as very loving, generous, and kind; they express their self-confidence through humility, forgiveness, and inclusiveness. Sanaya Roman

I’ve heard it said that when we fall in love with ourselves, we see the world around us differently.  I happen to agree. We should always be our own special valentine, not that we can’t love others as we love ourselves.

But by respecting ourselves, we’re better able to nurture good health and wellness every day so that others will think we’re worthy of the best. It’s also important to expect the very best to show up in our lives.

Here is an example of how I once applied this expectation to my own life.

One day many years ago, I decided to embrace a new outlook and make a conscious shift in my thinking when I realized that I had developed the habit of parking my car in the center of my double car garage, thereby not allowing any room for a second car.

So I changed my tactics and began parking on the left side with the expectation that I deserved to have a wonderful man soon enter my life and park on the right. Two months later I met David.  That was nearly fourteen years ago and he and I have shared valentine love (and parking spaces) ever since.

But I believe that by changing my thinking patterns and feeling deserving of the best I helped to lift limits that I had inadvertently placed on my life.  Plus, I breathed new life into my dreams without giving in to battle fatigue.

We must all live like we believe we truly deserve the best and by expecting the very best to show up in our life.

So since we have only one precious life to live, why not love and accept ourselves just the way we are?  Meaning it’s okay to buy a box of chocolates tied with ribbon or to send roses to yourself on Valentine’s Day if we’re alone that year.  One year I did exactly that (but not any more) when I was alone and had no one to share romantic love with. It made me feel good!

And while we’re at it, let’s choose the kind of people who think kindly about themselves to be our friends.  We should take pride in who we are and serve as models to others to love themselves, no matter where we all happen to be in this mysterious cycle of life.

Happy Valentines Day!