01 Aug Love After 60 | When Others Object to your Dating
is author of the best-selling book, “Hot Chocolate for Seniors”(winner of national & international awards); winner of Gold Halo Award from the So. California Motion Picture Council for Outstanding Literary Achievement; winner of First Place Excellence in Journalism Award (SPJ –Southern CA); Town & Gown “Phenomenal Woman” Award; former television host & KSPA radio host of “Senior Living at its Best with Jan Fowler”; speaker, contributing author for “Savvy Women Revving Up for Success”; founder of Starburst Inspirations, Inc. 501(c) (3) nonprofit which supports Redlands Drug Court. www.janfowler.com. Jan welcomes feedback and comments about her columns and invites you to leave her a message on her website.
Love After 60
When Others Object to your Dating
By Jan Fowler
Our need for human connection, attention, and affection does not change as we age.
As a matter of fact, when it comes to our basic need for love and companionship, we are all the same age inside regardless of the number of years we have lived. This is a fact which our family and friends may not necessarily recognize and accept.
But let’s say you are in your 60s or older and have decided that life has become dreary and lonely without someone nearby to talk to or go places with. So you gradually begin to open yourself up to the possibility of inviting someone new into your social life. In other words, you’re ready to date.
At first, I would urge you to be cautious about sharing your hopeful intentions regarding dating when talking with family or friends unless you’re prepared to receive a variety of reactions. Some of which may be unexpected, disappointing, or even downright hurtful.
Let me explain further.
If family or friends do not necessarily jump for joy after hearing your words, it could mean they feel jealous of you, threatened, or are still grieving the loss of your former mate themselves. Others may feel shut out and afraid that whereas you were once available to socialize with them; now you’ll no longer have free time to spend with them.
And they may be right. But that shouldn’t stop you from doing what you wish.
I would urge you not to argue with family or friends because they really are entitled to their own viewpoints. But then so are you.
There is no point in becoming argumentative if others don’t necessarily see things your way. On the contrary, you should remain polite and respectful of their opinions. After all, it is their right to feel as they choose.
The bottom line, however, is that you never need compromise your own decisions or standards because only you can choose what’s best for you.
So when others raise objections to your dating or to whom you’re dating remember that it might be due to selfish motivations. Could be that a jealous family member may feel possessive of your money and are threatened by the intrusion of a stranger.
The objections of others is only one minor drawback to your dating because most obstacles can be easily overcome or dealt with. How? Simply by hearing the other person out without arguing with them over their objections and by remaining respectful of their viewpoints at all times without compromising your own personal desires.
Let’s be sensible, folks, it’s your life.
And to have someone to share life experiences with is an ongoing human need. We all desire to have that special someone to talk with about the emotions we feel so I urge you to open the door of possibility to finding love again.
Besides, it’s a blessing to have a special companion to catch a movie with, share a bag of popcorn with at a ballgame, or stroll next to at Market Night. In addition to which, going out with someone can be just plain fun!