Jan Fowler

is author of the best-selling book, “Hot Chocolate for Seniors”(winner of national & international awards); winner of Gold Halo Award from the So. California Motion Picture Council for Outstanding Literary Achievement; winner of First Place Excellence in Journalism Award (SPJ –Southern CA); Town & Gown “Phenomenal Woman” Award; former television host & KSPA radio host of “Senior Living at its Best with Jan Fowler”; speaker, contributing author for “Savvy Women Revving Up for Success”; founder of Starburst Inspirations, Inc. 501(c) (3) nonprofit which supports Redlands Drug Court. www.janfowler.com. Jan welcomes feedback and comments about her columns and invites you to leave her a message on her website.

Opening Clamshell Packaging

by Jan Fowler

Yesterday I bought new all-purpose scissors to use in the kitchen, but just couldn’t break open the hard-to-cut, form-fitting plastic packaging it was encased in to get the scissors out.  Of course I could have tried cutting the package open with my old scissors, but they were pretty much dulled and useless which was why I was replacing them in the first place.

And then I had a stroke of brilliance, the kind that comes from waiting your whole lifetime for fame and fortune to finally chase you down.  Think of it. I could become world famous overnight.  The world is always ready for a new discovery. So just think, I could change the course of history by introducing the wave of the future.  Are you ready for my solution?  (But Shhh! you never know who’s listening and ready to steal my idea.  Just remember, I thought of it first.)

So instead of sending hundreds of people to the Emergency Room to treat injuries stemming from Wrap Rage the latest lingo to describe accidental hand and finger injuries resulting from wrap rage insanity let’s consider better uses for this fascinating new material.

So here’s my idea.  How about using this indestructible packaging material to build houses and cars with?  Think of it.  It could make them indestructible from anything tornados, hurricanes, floods, even fires and earthquakes!

Here’s why.  Because even if the cars and houses were lifted off the ground and blown across to the other side of town, they would always retain their original sizes and shapes, which could never be destroyed.

So I allowed myself several self-indulgent minutes to bask in this glory and wonderment before experiencing the sobering return to clarity and reality.

Okay, so at the very least there must be some simple tips for coping with this mysterious new widespread use of packaging material because I suspect it’s here to stay.  I checked it out and came up with a few suggestions which you might find useful to actually protect yourself.

And here they are:

1. Always consider safety first.  Wear a pair of protective gloves.
2. Try using a hand-held rotary can opener on some packages rather than a scissors or knife.
3. Or try to cut into the side seam of a package using a brand new blade for your knife or box cutter.
4. And if you must use a blade, always cut away from your body.
5. Keep a hand tool called a tin snip nearby for cutting metal twine when necessary.
6. And in case you are sent home with food from a restaurant, you may notice that they’ve put it in hard-as-rock plastic food containers consisting of two halves and joined by a hinge to seal and preserve your food from airborne germs.  FYI, these containers are referred to as clamshells and are mostly easy to open, although some can present quite a maddening struggle.

And if the above tips don’t work for me, I guess I could always borrow one of David’s saws or X-ACTO blades for precision cutting because some packages are just murder to open, regardless of whether they contain a small and simple set of eight lightweight steak knives to have on hand for a family barbecue or a tiny tube of glossy red lipstick for me.

So my final wish for you is to please be extremely cautious when opening these packages.  Watch those fingers carefully and make sure that you don’t incur any cuts or injuries. Good luck!